New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize