She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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