Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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