problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
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i think i scared a bird with my dick
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize