Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
