Sponge bath it is.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
