SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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