Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
