are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
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I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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