your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
