i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize