I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
