Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
