so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Randomize
