i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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