I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
