I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize