I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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