I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Watching her eat just hurts me
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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