I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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