Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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