this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
