I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
