Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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