Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
