im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
