I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
