And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
