Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
