we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
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There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I can't put those talents on a resume
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
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He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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