Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
