Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
