It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
