i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
