...so i touched it.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
