arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
