my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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