Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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