she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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