I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
