After last night, I could never be a politician.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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