we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
