Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
