ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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