That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize