Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
