Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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