Just fell off a train. Bad.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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