Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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