I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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