STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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