I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
