I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
