So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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