Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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