His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize