I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
