Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
