I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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