I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize