how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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