Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
