Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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