nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
