I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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