So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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