He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
