I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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